Day 5: I...Love...Crêpes

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Intro: The 12 Days Of Christmas Memories
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Closing
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There's nothing like gathering a family around the warming glow of a fireplace...but in a pinch, a television will do. Back before it was shown in a 24-hour loop, my family watched A Christmas Story every year, usually just a few days before Christmas. We also had VHS recordings of "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" and "Frosty The Snowman," but those were more like OnDemand -- we kids could watch them whenever we wanted. All wholesome entertainment that the entire family could enjoy together, although as the years went by, we moved on to other things.

Several years ago, I arrived at the house in the early evening on Christmas Eve. Teddy, home from college, immediately asked me whether I had seen the South Park movie. I hadn't, and Teddy said we should go rent it. That night. So he and I watched the South Park movie on Christmas Eve. And then twice on Christmas Day. We even tried to get Mom to watch it one of those times, but she walked out about 10 minutes in, during "Uncle Fucker." Not quite the family film.

A couple years later, Teddy got Mom and Dad a DVD player with surround speakers. We got them a few DVDs as well, and on Christmas night, after Teddy set up the system, we all watched Spiderman. Maybe there's deeper symbolism here because Dad used to read Spiderman comics to us boys from the Marvel Masterworks reprint books, but let's just say that it was a good movie and we all watched it together.

Watching A Christmas Story was the closest thing we had to a family movie tradition, until a few years ago, in the aftermath of Anchorman. Teddy and Dad declared this the greatest movie ever; I first watched it when I was out at the house recovering from thoracic surgery. As in, chest and lungs, i.e., the exact part of your body that you wouldn't want to be in excruciating pain while watching Anchorman for the very first time. During the Sex Panther scene I had to dig my nails into my thigh, because that was less painful than my otherwise-uncontrollable laughing.

Anchorman begot Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby. The year it was released, Teddy announced that he was getting Talladega Nights from Netflix and we were watching it on Christmas night. And it had its moments. Last year, Teddy went with Semi Pro, which had fewer moments. And this year, we'll be watching Step Brothers. I could not have lower expectations for this movie. And yet, it's a holiday tradition, and I do look forward to it with excitement.

I wouldn't be surprised if Mom, Allison, and Tiffany have fantasies of hunting down Will Ferrell with a Red Ryder BB gun.